taking a break from CDEV. and this is a random post.

i love my brother. yes, i love him. hahha. but throughout my hard years, he has never never ever been by my side. we are siblings, yes. but he knows nothing about me, vice verse. we are like blood related strangers living under the same roof. it feels weird.

i want to share all my problems with him. i want to ask him about guy’s opinion. i want to just talk to him like normal siblings do. but i don’t know how to start. i want to be able to salam him and not be awkward.

how do siblings actually communicate? if only i can turn back to the time when he was in national team. i would support and cheer for him till the very end. i regretted not doing so when i had the chance. if i did, we could have been closer.

god, i’ve wasted plenty of opportunities. now that he’s gotten a gf, i don’t think i matter anymore. who am i compared to his dear gf, who has been with him for almost 2 years? she won my brother’s heart hands down.

16 years, 11 months on earth, i have not given a single thing to my brother, not even on his birthday. at least he did give me a broach when he returned from vietnam. and that was the first and the last thing he gave me.

so sad.

as for my sister, she’s in that rebellious growing period so, yah, i’m giving her space.

p.s: ytd in the train, i fell asleep with my mouth open. how unglam!! hhaha. embarrassing sia.



u weren’t there. why were u not there?


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