ANGST, JOY, PAIN

idk what to do, idk what tosay. i don’t even know how i feel!

i really don’t know what to feel! i am really scared to live. like, really scared. i don’t know what’s gonna happen. but i want what i want to happen. i really don’t know what the hell i am talking about!

i wanna say everything out. i wanna tell everyone how i truly feel, i want everyone to know what my intentions are. i don’t want to keep any secrets. i don’t want to inject more guilt. and i don’t wanna run away.

i am really confused right now. i seriously don’t know why i am feeling mad/sad/pissed/happy/disgusted now. there’s so many emotions in me right now, but i don’t know why.

i don’t know why i am feeling mad/sad/pissed/happy/disgusted. i can’t tell a freaking soul anything i really want to say, neither am i bottling it up. idk why this weird mixed confused feelings are attacking me now.

it’s like i don’t trust anyone. but the fact is, i really don’t trust anyone. i just don’t understand why i cannot say things i wanna say when there’s nothing to be afraid of. i just don’t understand why i also bother to care so much about things that aren’t important.

i hate this feeling. but i know it will go away. it will, i know it will. dammit lah! i really hate this feeling.

life’s so hard ): can i just live in my dreams?

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