it’s still very hard to forgive whatever my own flesh and blood brother did. afterall that we’ve been through, i thought he changed and so, i trusted him. now, i feel betrayed. very much hurt. and everything i do reminds me of what he did. how could he do this to me? i am his sister!
old bad memories of us are haunting me again. i’ve forgiven him then, but i still can’t forget. now that he betrayed my trust, i feel like i can never forgive him. he didn’t know how much he impacted my life. MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!
it took me a great deal of courage to forgive him in the past, and accept him in my life. he don’t know that. and never did he ever once apologise to me. this is absurd. and i’m having very extreme evil thoughts that i really wanna do! but i know, he’ll get his punishment one day.
but every time i think about what he did all along, i feel like… ): i just can’t look at him anymore. i really have had enough. i can’t forgive him anymore. i can’t even call out to him.
my dreams and wishes of holding a conversation with him like a real brother, are forever shattered. and can never come true. cos this heart of mine is hurt, by my one and only flesh and blood brother.