I am terribly missing my cousin! During the Special Syawal Event, all of us had to share our own true meaning of Syawal. I didn’t know what Syawal means to me personally, only after this year’s Syawal. What Syawal means to me; to spend quality time with all the loved ones and a golden opportunity for forgiveness.

Since Ellisya moved to Cairo for studies, she wasn’t able to join us for Hari Raya. That sucks. It feels shitty! She’s been with me since like forever. Thus, on the very first day of Syawal, it was different, though very beautiful, it was still different. Her absence was so great that I could not help but just weep and scream in my heart. I miss her terribly.

When the grandparents, being old and kinda forgetful, called her name by accident, all of us kept quiet, followed by silent painful tears, acknowledging her absence. It was hard. Subsequently for the second day of Syawal, if she was with me, she’d be sitting right beside me in the bus. But she wasn’t. I tried not to feel down since it’s a day to be happy, but I felt so empty that I just sat in the bus quietly. I miss her terribly.

I can’t imagine not being able to spend my Syawal without my family members. Ever since young, I have dreams of migrating or living outside Singapore. But after this experience, I’d just wanna be with my family forever.

Despite the heartache and loneliness, I won’t deny that I did have a wonderful time during visiting. The little cousins made things so much more livelier, and the jokes of the aunts and uncles made it more bearable!

Talk about aunt and uncles, the first day of Syawal was a really beautiful day, though different, but really beautiful. The fight that broke out a few months ago between my grandmother and uncle that put a strain on all the family ties have ceased to exit. The first day of Syawal served as a platform for forgiveness and a fresh new beginning.

Syawal is known to be a time of the year where people ask for forgiveness. Thus, psychologically, it’s much easier to ask for forgiveness as it won’t be hurting one’s pride. So, it was a wonderful day where my grandmother and uncle reconciled. Very much a touching sight. That is why Syawal is a perfect time to ask for forgiveness, to me.

This year’s Syawal is really amazing, because I found something that I have always been searching for my whole entire life. I know it may not be for sure, but it’s nice knowing, even for a short while. I am truly blessed for everything that happened. My only wish is for him to soar higher into the sky and achieve his ultimate dream in life. May Allah bless him here and in the hereafter. For he is someone I truly admire. Alhamdulilah for everything.



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