I already knew about it beforehand. But I was so naive enough to tell myself that I could be wrong. But when I really heard about it from someone else’s mouth. I feel as though I was slapped right in the face.
Why am I so plain stupid and naive? Why can’t I accept the truth and reality of the situation in the first place? Why must I keep making excuses to make myself feel better? Why why? Why am I always the laughing stock?
Always, at the end of the day, I’m the fool. Just that pathetic fool. It hurts so much.And I just can’t wrap my mind around it. If it’s true, shouldn’t all that not happen? Why did it happen? I feel so ashamed of myself.
From now onwards, things are going to change. I will see it in a different perspective and I will not move an inch. I will not be swayed nor smitten. This time, there will never be a next time. I never wanna ever experience this thing ever again. This is just the very last straw.
May Allah guide me towards the right decision. And may He bless you, whoever you may be (: