FORGIVE ME

First and foremost, I am sorry for accusing you of trying to change me. I was too prideful and egoistic to be able to see what’s best for me. I am terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have flared up. Nothing good comes from getting pissed. I don’t know if you’re gonna accept my apology, but I hope you don’t despise me. If only there was a way I could take back everything that I’ve said.

Now I finally realised what and how much you mean to me. It’s like… I can’t even put my thoughts in words. I know that we won’t be seeing or talking to each other anymore for now. But I really hope I can see you in the future. I’d love to have a second first meeting with you again. If that ever happens, I’d really take the chance and not let you go. I am even willing to make the first move. That’s how much I want you in my life. InshaaAllah, if we meet again in 5/6 years to come?

But if by chance, I am not destined to meet you in the future, then I’ll wish you well and really hope I won’t ever ever see you again. It’s either I see you again, or I don’t. I don’t want to have lingering feelings for something that’s not meant for me. But right now, only you managed to enter this deep into my heart.

For now, I need to redirect all my focus to work, school and self. There’s so much I need to improve on. Maybe at the end of the day, I needed you to be my motivating factor for change. Shouldn’t have been to quick to judge. Sigh. Can’t further describe how sorry I am. May you be blessed with happiness always.

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (:

 

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