This feeling of helplessness that tied me down is suffocating. Knowing what the problem is and not being able to help makes me feel so frustrated and useless. I have nothing to offer right now, nothing to give. In fact, I keep taking in, because it is necessity and not just my greed.
Seeing my parents work so hard to earn money just to support this dream of mine pains me. I am starting to doubt if this decision was even worth the trouble. I want to help them, but I can’t. All I can do right now is give it my best and earn my rightful degree. Only then can I repay them, only then, they can stop working so hard for me.
Obtaining a psychology degree is still not enough for me to chase my dreams, because I need a masters to make my dreams to reality. But I cannot be selfish. At this rate, I might have to take a part time masters in the future. At least then, I can still earn some money and be independent, so my parents can use their own money to pamper themselves and not be burdened by me.
All I want is to see my parents care free with no burden. For now, I may be imposing on them, but I promise, this phase won’t last long, it will be over as soon as I get my degree. Hang in there ayah, ibu! ❤
May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (: