It sucks okay. To see your friends having fun without you, to see your family having a home cooked meal together, to see your friends doing something fruitful with their life and there you are being a couch potato at home because it’s just too cold outside. I want to be there with my family and friends. I just, for a moment, I just want my old life back.

It’s so emotionally hard because I cannot pour what I feel to anyone right now, because no one has any idea how much I miss everyone, because everyone is busy with their lives and having fun. Yes, there’s always whatsapp messages. But why is it always me who needs to ask about their life happenings? Why can’t they text me about what they did, or what exciting new things they are trying?

It sucks. I want to meet them, all of them, everyone. To have fun, laugh, talk, joke, cry, go crazy, sing, cycle, picnic,  do anything under the warm sun or star gaze under the moonlight. All I am asking is to be invited to my friends’ lives so I can still have a so called second degree fun with them. As though I am there, as though I did not leave at all.

I just want to be back home. Even going back to UNMC won’t make things better. I wonder if it’s possible to even transfer to a local school. That’s how badly I wanna get my old life with my old friends again.

It sucks, but, I just have to SUCK IT UP. Because I know, this is just plain stupid. What I am feeling right now is just because I miss everyone back home so badly. I guess no one can ever replace the good old friends who’ve permanently camped in my heart. You guys are so not irreplaceable. Ever. I am grateful and thankful that you people are in my life. I’ll be back soon. Even it it means for a while. I can’t wait to meet my family and you people. I love you ❤

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (:

p.s: My first paper is in two days time, please make prayers from my friends and I. Thank you! Oh and also, please pray for Syakura and Nurish who will be getting their O level results tmr. Syak, your Diploma Cert is waiting for you, I know it ❤


One thought on “IT SUCKS, BUT…

  1. Arifah says:

    Truth is, I’m always wishing you were around too right here coz you are not replaceable too 😦 And pretty sure everyone misses you too although might not update.. Hang in there you’ll be back soon insyaAllah! All the best for your papers! Awaiting the day you come back <3<3

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