I find myself here in a country I once called home, sitting alone staring into space thinking to myself, asking Allah, what do I do now? I’m scared. I don’t have the confidence to successfully go through a new path.
Now that I have finally realigned my goal in life, I’m worrying about the future, can I actually achieve my goal?
All these while I thought my life has been a breeze without a problem that I could handle but little did I know for the past 25 years of my life I was not consistent which resulted in me having wasted a lot of my time. And that is my problem, a problem that lies in my deen. Those memories that I cherieshed were in fact, useless and not beneficial for the hereafter. It made me grow as a person, but not spiritually.
But it all makes sense now. My goal in life is to be the best kind of women and the best mother to my children. It all makes sense because I have always wanted to give love. I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to turn negative. I don’t want to be mean. I want to be nice and happy. I want to change. I want to be the ummah of our Prophet SAW. And I believe.
Ya Allah, please grant me patience and strength to be a better mu’min. Please Nadhirah, please achieve your goal.
May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (: