DEAR BABY

Will there ever be a day I get to have a child to call my own? Will there ever be a day I get to feel my baby’s little tiny grip wrap around my finger? Will there ever be a day I get to hear my baby call me ibu?

To feel my baby’s soft tiny feet, to kiss my baby’s smooth cheeks, to smell that wonderful baby smell that lingers on my baby’s head. I wonder if I will ever get a chance to be a mother. Not to mention having to be married first. Somehow it worries me more that I will never get to be a mother than not having a husband.

When I see young mothers walking with their babies, I feel a pit in my stomach, a pinch of emptiness in my womb. It’s something that I yearn for. Many around me are getting pregnant and hearing their stories get me beyond excited. I feel like I’m a a god-mother awaiting the birth of their babies. At least it is a way I get to have a taste of motherhood.

I pray and will always pray each and everyday that I get a chance at marriage and baby in this life. Do pray for me as well.

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (:

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EMBRACE YOURSELF

Why do you compare yourselves to others. You are you, you know what works best for you. Never put yourself in a situation where you feel pressured by those around you. Work at your own time, at your own pace. Follow what is in your heart and not what others are doing. Learn more about yourself. Praise your strength and challenge your weakness. Caring for yourself is not selfish, it’s a right. Only by embracing yourself would you be able to inspire others. 

SINGLEHOOD

I told myself that I am ready to settle down. I believed that I had to put in effort to meet someone, hence I went on a muslim dating app to broaden my circle of friends. But getting to know someone through a dating app made me realise how uncomfortable it is. I ended up deleting the app after a week.

I realised I did not like the idea of a stranger getting to know me out of nowhere as much as I thought I did. Maybe I felt vulnerable or maybe my expectation was too high but I think it is still my right to have a set of expectations, not only for me but for my future family. This experience taught me that it is better to stay single than to end up settling for a guy just because I met him online first.

For now, I think I am good living on my own. For now, I think I am done searching for someone. For now, I think I like having full control over my day to day decisions. So for now, I am going to continue being single.

Alhamdulillah, I am very happy and grateful where I am right now. I am just very excited to chase after my dreams.

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you maybe (:

ADULTING

Being an adult does not mean you stop dreaming. You can still have goals and you can still fight your way. It is never too late. One beautiful thing about being adult is that you already have your basics done. You’ve gotten a job (or will get soon inshaaAllah) so you can earn a living and not leech off your parents. 

With that monthly pay you’ve got, what are you going to do with it? Save for marriage? Go for courses? Travel? You can do just about anything with your hard earned money. 

But here’s the thing, then what? What are you going to do with your life? If you love your job then Alhamdulillah, but what if you don’t? Is it too late to reflect and think what steps can be taken next? Like I’ve said, it is never too late inshaaAllah. 

Starting having dreams and goals again. Make life exciting again. Look forward to some new changes. Do something for the community. Giving back to the community is the best way to make life meaningful again. Plus you get to meet new people.

Some adults have goals and it’s great but, these goals that we want to achieve does not come easy. We really have to work for it. On top of that we often feel at lost and confused on how to achieve this adult dream of ours. 

Just remember, these goals are not instant goals. They take years to achieve. Create 5 year plans. You’ve got a life ahead of you, your 30s, 40s, 50s, InshaaAllah. Failing to achieve anything in adulthood is only another chance to try. Just don’t give up. 

Remind yourselves that life is a long journey and there will be changes, both good and bad. It is how you react to changes that reflect how much you’ve grown.

Last but not least, have fun in life. Enjoy and spend time with your loved ones, family and friends. Despite being constantly tired (especially being a childcare teacher) find time for yourself and the people around you. Because you will definitely need that fun time to recharge.

This serves as a reminder to me as well. At the end of the day ultimately Allah knows what is best for us. Don’t forget to have good intention, have effort and have faith then the rest Allah will take care of it.

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you maybe (:

BLESSED RAMADAN

Alhamdulillah, in this blessed month of Ramadan, Allah has granted my du’a, to get a job and to be enrolled in the Masters in Counselling Programme. I believe that it is an opportunity to upgrade myself and with the knowledge that I attain, it will be my responsibility to use these skills to help the Ummah. InshaaAllah.

From now till I am 30, inshaaAllah kalau panjang umur, I at least have a set of goals to achieve. Bismillah!

May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (:

WORRIED

I told myself that I would not take another teaching job. And here I am, being offered yet another teaching position. Feeling torn, unsure if I am ready to go through the ordeal of being an educator once again. I am obsequiously certain I would enjoy the children’s company, but what about the responsibilities and the baggage that comes with it?

I am worried. All I can do now is to believe in the path Allah has paved for me. Even more so in Ramadhan. I am still awaiting the outcome of my Masters application. It will be of great help to decide if I know the results. Alas, at the end of the day, Allah knows what is best.

May Allah you and your family, whoever you may be (:

PURPOSE OF LIFE

Shaykh Mendes shared in his talk that Allah has given each and everyone of us a purpose in life. It is our duty to seek our true purpose. More often than not, doing what makes us happy is our reason for living. Our responsibility is to make our goal in life to be of a service to Allah.

Alhamdulillah, I have found my purpose. I believe that I wasn’t named “Nadhirah” by coincident. From the very beginning Allah has placed my purpose in life in my own name, which means, radiance. This itself, is just so beautiful. I hope with my presence I can bring happiness and calmness that gives gratitude to Allah and his Messenger, InshaaAllah.

And I would like to take this opportunity to seek your prayers. I have just submitted my application to pursue my education in counselling, hence, I hope anyone who reads this, put their hands together and make du’a for me. InshaaAllah!

Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (: