Tomorrow marks the start of my new learning journey. I am finally given the chance to pursue my dream since I was 15 – to study psychology. There was a point of time a few years back, when I decided to go off track and pursue Early Childhood instead. And, I did. The experience and all were enriching, but it wasn’t fulfilling enough for me. I feel restricted, not being able to do what I wanted to do. That’s when I realise, I should continue my dreams of learning more about psychology.
And so, after months of waiting for school to start, the day is finally inching closer. I am rather excited right now. This time, I want to push myself to the limit. I want to take risks. I want to grab any opportunity that presents itself to me. I will learn from all of my mistakes and learn from others as well. I will look at things in a new light, positively and stop judging and assuming. I want to have no regrets here in UNMC. This is definitely out of my comfort zone but I know I am capable and with His blessings, I will be able to break out of my shell and attain my dream.
I have been away from home for only 5 odd days and I have come to realise how selfish I have been. If you have read my previous posts, you might know that my situation with my father hasn’t been all great lately. But this experience, have taught me so much and made me realise how much my father actually loves me and knows me. My parents reached Malaysia 2 days after I did and they brought my other remaining stuff that I couldn’t carry. I listed down only three things for them to bring over for me. But as soon as I opened the luggage, I saw so many unnecessary things that were essential for me! They were all packed by my father. How much effort he actually put in to pack MY things inside the luggage. How much love he put in. Ya Allah.. I have truly sinned ):
During my last moments with my parents and aunt before we parted ways, my father kept giving me advices, those little advices to make friends. I felt a wee bit angry because I can make friends on my own even without him telling me to do it. Of course, being a useless daughter, I told him off. When my aunt heard what I said to my father, she immediately said, “Mak bapak semua memang gitu Nadhirah, dorang ni sebenarnya concern dengan anak-anak”. Ya Allah, when I heard that, I felt as though I have been slapped. And I am thankful for that. It’s true. My father is concerned about me, but he has a different way of showing it. I fail to see the way he sees things, I fail to appreciate deeply someone who loves me for me, who cares about me whole heartedly, who would do just about anything just for me. Ya Allah, thank you for all your timely reminders.
From now on, I will strive to be a better daughter. The things that my parents have done for me and the gestures that I have done to repay their deeds, amount to nothing. I am not a good daughter. But I know it’s not too late to mend things. InshaaAllah, I will be a good daughter to my parents. I am going to make them proud. I want to see them smiling on my graduation again. I want them to smile because of me. I want them to be proud of me. I want them to know that I have matured because of their endless selfless love. I love you, Ayah, Ibu ❤
May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (: