PURPOSE OF LIFE

Shaykh Mendes shared in his talk that Allah has given each and everyone of us a purpose in life. It is our duty to seek our true purpose. More often than not, doing what makes us happy is our reason for living. Our responsibility is to make our goal in life to be of a service to Allah.

Alhamdulillah, I have found my purpose. I believe that I wasn’t named “Nadhirah” by coincident. From the very beginning Allah has placed my purpose in life in my own name, which means, radiance. This itself, is just so beautiful. I hope with my presence I can bring happiness and calmness that gives gratitude to Allah and his Messenger, InshaaAllah.

And I would like to take this opportunity to seek your prayers. I have just submitted my application to pursue my education in counselling, hence, I hope anyone who reads this, put their hands together and make du’a for me. InshaaAllah!

Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (:

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IN DISTRESS

I really don’t mind doing chores. But can they just stop ordering me around? They keep telling me to wash the dishes, clean the room, hang the clothes and what nots. They still demand me to do it, let me quote what Ayah always say, “DO IT NOW!” The tone of voice is beyond over-bearing. I can’t deny the fact that my blood boils when I hear him say that. I usually try to shrug it off, but just now, I surrendered myself to my anger and retaliated.

But that’s not actually the worst thing. Every time, every single freaking time, I go out, even to my Nenek’s house, Ibu will get so pissed. She’ll start her story about how I always don’t do the housework, how I am always going out to enjoy and how when I am at home I am always on my laptop or lazing around. She always says that and it is down right hurtful!

They never acknowledge our efforts in keeping the house clean. I dare say my sister and I have been trying our best to keep the house clean. I actually like cleaning the house, but I don’t like the fact that they only get noisy when the house is in a mess! For once, I just want them to actually respect us. We are their children, not their slaves. We too want to keep the house clean, so they should let us do it at our own pace. I don’t see what’s the difference between washing the dishes at 5pm as compared to 6pm.

I know Ayah likes being authoritative and demanding, but it comes off as annoying and really over-bearing. Ibu just wants me to be at home for as long as I live. She just hates seeing me going out, even if it means I will be the only one at home. I just don’t get it. I am trying to suppress everything inside, hoping that I won’t explode the next time it happens.

This is beyond madness. I love my parents so much. But I need them to understand me. I need them to respect me. And as I write it down, I realise, how selfish I am as a daughter. It is my duty to take care of the house and my parents. Ya Allah, please grant me more patience. Here I am complaining about how my parents treat us, but other people don’t even have parents. Ya Allah.. :/

May Allah protect our family. May Allah grant more patience for us all. May Allah soften our hearts. Indeed, only Allah alone answers the supplication of the distress. May Allah bless you and your family whoever you may be (:

NEW JOURNEY, BISMILLAH

It’s gonna be a longgggg post, Bismillah!

I have finally ended my journey as a Preschool Teacher, in MindChamps Preschool. Alhamdulillah. When I took on the role as a teacher, the challenges faced were endless, most of it came from the parents. I’ve never dealt with difficult parents when I was on my attachment since year 1. But when it came down to the real thing, parents were not easy to please, especially for someone who has such a timid character like me. It was so easy for parents to pick out my mistakes. I almost landed myself in a hot soup when one of the parents wanted to write a letter to MYCS (now known as MSF).

But Alhamdulillah, it was because He was always looking after me (‘: And I dare say that it wasn’t my fault at all! Who can control what the children do? And besides it wasn’t as if their child was badly hurt, it was just a small scratch by another 2 years old. These dramas went on and on till late May last year. I was already on the verge of quitting. It was those times that I got too stressed out that I just cried everytime. But I knew, I couldn’t go on like this. I couldn’t quit just yet. I just started working. How can I quit without trying and enduring? I knew I had to suck it all up and pray for the strength to go through that phase.

Once I finally accepted the problems and let every single thought sink in, Alhamdulillah, everything got better. I stopped focusing on the negative side and shifted my energy to the positive vibe. I finally see how nice some parents really were. I started to appreciate parents more. In return, they appreciated me. Alhamdulillah (‘: Whatever happened with the first batch of parents I had, I took it in and learnt from it.

When I had my second batch of parents, this year, it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns either. The new problem that popped out was trust. Most parents trusted my Laoshi more than me. Parents thought that Laoshi was the one doing all the work. Me being me, just shrugged it off. My main priority was the children. It didn’t matter if the parents didn’t acknowledge my efforts, because I knew what’s more important was that, Allah and the children knew. I just had to be patient and not wallow into my own feelings.

All I needed was time. True enough, with time, parents became close to me and started appreciating me. Later on, when they knew I was leaving, some of them were even telling me not to go. I was sincerely touched (‘: Though there was one who seemed quite happy that I was leaving. But what caused the change in parents? It was because of the children. From this incident, I learnt that it doesn’t matter if people don’t see what you are doing, because Allah sees everything. When you continue to do your work with sincerity, eventually your efforts will pay off. I never stopped loving and caring (and scolding.. hahaha) for the children and the children (I have to say this shamelessly) really love me too. It was really evident. I feel so ashamed having said that here. But it’s the truth. Ya Allah, tak tahu mahunya diri ni! But, yes, at the end of the day, the children themselves became the very solution to my worry. Alhamdulillah (:

In all honesty, work was never a drag, I actually enjoyed it, especially the children. When else can you be surrounded by 16 children aged 2-3 years old everyday who’ll randomly say, “I like you Miss Irah” or “I love you Miss Irah”. Their interesting ideas, endless questions, innocent thoughts were what made me love working more. (Though they could really drive you crazy) But everyday was so chaotic, it’s like you’re at war. Mind you they’re so young, they can’t even wear their own t-shirts! There was never a quiet day in my classroom, except during their naptime. I am sure other preschool teachers would agree with me.

From this experience, I’ve learnt and grown so much! Alhamdulillah. Not only I learnt more about children, teaching, preschool in general, I even I gained the confidence I once lost and got to know more insights about being a wife and mother, through the endless tales of my colleagues’ lives. It has really been a wonderful roller coaster journey as a teacher. Alhamdulillah (‘:

After working with children, I realised that teaching children, was really not what I wanted to do. I liked being around them, but just not teaching. I felt the need to help children understand emotions. I felt the need to let children know that they are loved. I felt the need to help their emotional development more than ever! Yes, teachers are responsible for all aspect of development. But I particularly would love to focus mainly on the emotional development. Because I believe before children learn their ABCs, they should feel good about themselves. Only then will they get to maximize their learning.

Why? Why do I feel the need to focus on their emotional development more than their cognitive development?

In my experience in the preschool sector (including the three years in ECH), I’ve met so many children who came from diverse family backgrounds. I’ve worked with both high and low income families. I’ve come across kids who come to school hungry and sticky, kids whose mum is not married, kids whose parents left them with their grandparents and just left, kids whose fathers are serving sentence in prison, kids whose parents are going through divorce or have already divorced etc. Each child has their story and some stories are really heart breaking. These kids are so innocent and it’s so heart wrenching to see their lives affected by it when they grow older just because of their family condition. Family should not be a deterrence in life, it should in fact be the catalyst for success.

With that, Alhamdulillah, I knew what I really want to do in the future – Family Therapy. InshaaAllah, after I attain my general psychology degree (since psych degree is a general degree, oh well), I’d want to continue my studies in child & family psychology. InshaaAllah, Ameen.

InshaaAllah once I have attained my certificates, there is one thing that I would love to do first. May Allah always grant us the opportunity to learn, practice and spread the knowledge that we have gained for the sake of our love for Allah.

I think, right now, I am ready to leave for Malaysia. It’s gonna be a start of a new journey, Bismillah! Please keep me in your prayers. May Allah bless you and your family, whoever you may be (: